Now THAT'S Completely Fucked.

Why didn't somebody out there hook a sista up???!!

Suffice it to say, I'm highly perturbed by the results of last night's American Idol. Not only should Melinda be in the final, she definitely should have WON the entire thing--because she IS the best singer, period. What's more, she has the most polish of any of the contestants featured this season. I knew the fix was in for Jordin (she's young and cute, and all that which a pop princess is expected to be), but Blake? He's good, but da-a-a-a-a-m-m-m-m-n, he's no Melinda.

If Jordin doesn't go on to win the entire mess, I'll know The Evil Dick (Cheney) has rigged this shit, as well!

But I don't even smoke...(or think).

What Famous Leader Are You?
personality tests by similarminds.com

Happiest shit ever.

...Seriously!

Why do I find this so amusing...?

I can't help it--but kids in little muu-muu's crack me up.

I stole it trom Tara.

What Is Your Battle Cry?

Stalking amidst the candy store, swinging a studded crowbar, cometh Deawn! And she gives a spectacular grunt: "I'm going to torment you so utterly, you'll reincarnate as an X-file!"

Find out! Enter username: Are you a girl, or a guy ?

created by beatings : powered by monkeys

Go see what you can steal, too!

Fun with furry things (and more)!

Here's another shot of Miss Pearl, who refuses to graze on these heinous furry-looking thongs I made for my Cousin Judy, in her special 'girl gang' colors. (I'm fairly certain her dog will use them as chew toys).
These are some socks I'm currently working on, which are made from Hill Country 'Sweet Feet' sock yarn. The colorway is called Purple Mountain, which is strange, because I've yet to see any mountains that are such a vivid shade of blue. I bought them from 'Discount Yarn Sale' on a whim, and the hand is so nice, I can't stop touching them! (Not to worry though, I'm still able to maintain my knitter's ADD).

Earlier in the week, I splurged and picked up some Colinette JitterBug in a colorway I think has got to be mislabelled. It claims to be 'Sahara' but it looks nothing at all like the photos of colorways I've seen on any number of sites. (I'll check again to see what-the-hell happened and let you know). While I really like the way Hill Country Yarn knits up, I have to say that the JitterBug is without question, the best sock yarn I've ever worked with in my entire life. Perhaps even longer. Like say, maybe a previous life. (Can't say for sure, since I believe that I was an amnesiac in all my previously lives). It hasn't fuzzed up at all, and it's so nicely plied, that even I haven't split the living daylights out of the yarn. When I quit fondling it, I'll take a picture and post it.

While I'm on the subject of fascinating projects 'whipped up' with yarn, I suggest you check out this link to a project from 'The Anticraft.' In particular, pay special attention to the dialogue between The Artiste and her mother, who wondered exactly what she was 'up to' so to speak, with her good sock yarn. 'Something to do with the Longhorns?!' Man, that's a good one...it just cracks me up!!

To close, the masses have requested that I re-post the URL for Miss Pearl's My Space page, so click on the hyperlink, and find yourself transformed to the mystical wonderland that is her virtual world...

Stay strange. I know I will.

Sanjaya Anthem

By Popular Demand...

If I were any more laid back, I'd be dead.

Read my VisualDNA™ Get your own VisualDNA™

(It's supposed to be deep.)

Best.Hair.Ever.

An oldie but goodie from the late great Rufus "Funky Chicken" Thomas! With a special appearance by the late Fred "Rerun" Berry from "What's Happenin' "!! Featuring a lady in an obscenely short dress tearin' it up!!! (She's somebody's grandma now, believe it or not...)

This is What's Up.

Last week, I was circling the block looking for a parking space, and decided to impede what little traffic there was in Downtown Omaha by taking a few pictures...

Scenes from beautiful downtown Omaha...or,
(why the hell is there a buffalo stuck in that building?)

This concludes the 'stale destinations' portion of this post. Here's the knitting content part I've neglected as of late. For your review, are a few of my many, many, (many) knitting projects. Yours Truly is the model, as Mother has threatened me with legal action if I don't give the whole candid camera thing a rest.

The Never-Ending Sock
Pattern: Something or other from
"Knitting Vintage Socks" by Nancy Bush
Yarn: Lisa Souza Sock! in Mars Quake
Needle size: 2.5mm

The Boysenberry Waffle Sock
Pattern: I'm altering it as I go along.
Yarn: Koigu PPPM 'Glass of Cabernet'
Needle size: 2.75mm

Jaywalker Interrupted
Pattern: Grumperina's Masterpiece
Yarn: Koigu PPM
(I've temporarily misplaced the yarn band--my bad.)
Needle size: 2.5mm

Yarn: Misti Alpaca Hand Dyed Worsted
Pattern: Lion Brand Lace Beanie
Mood: Tense.

That is all.

Impromptu Interventions for the Bladder Control Impaired

I can't even make this up. (But you can bet I tried...)

Beware the Ides of March (and men's crotches).

According to studies, men stare at the naughty bits of baseball players, while women focus on the face. Although this is relevant of nothing in particular, you can learn the details about this right here.

I'll post knitting and/or sports content at a later date. Just be thankful I'm here to pass on all this valuable information, sans frais.

Now That I've Got Your Attention...

Shouldn't it actually read 'hangin'?

This horrifying visual has nothing at all to do with the real message of this post. I uploaded it only to get your attention. (And since you're reading this now, it obviously worked). Miss Pearl, my beloved rodent, has recently unveiled her 'My Space' page to rave reviews, amassing a whole bunch of celebrity friends, some of whom are actually human!

But 'La Pearl' isn't one of those snobbish types who star trips. She's a true pig of the people, and would be happy to have you (yes, You) as a friend. Click here to see her page, and leave a comment. And be sure to check back early and often. She's a very popular pig indeed!

Weird, Cute, & Provocative

...yet it has nothing to do with Britney. Who knew?? It's the:

Gansta Happy Feet Remix!

How Deep Is Your Soul?

You Are a Visionary Soul

You are a curious person, always in a state of awareness. Connected to all things spiritual, you are very connected to your soul. You are wise and bright: able to reason and be reasonable. Occasionally, you get quite depressed and have dark feelings. You have great vision and can be very insightful. In fact, you are often profound in a way that surprises yourself. Visionary souls like you can be the best type of friend. You are intuitive, understanding, sympathetic, and a good healer. Souls you are most compatible with: Old Soul and Peacemaker Soul

What Kind of Soul Are You?

I actually finished something (else).

Crazy Sexy Crafty Cool.

I believe poverty is the mother of invention, not necessity. At best, necessity is a distant cousin. The kind you never hear from until they want to hit you up for jack. Anyway, I used both indigence and necessity to the fullest in creating this useful-yet-decorative row counter thang, that also serves as a stitch marker. Ain't it cute?

And speaking of cute...

Hey look! It's everybody's favorite model!!

This is another one of my FO's during the ongoing Winter of My Discontent. It's the Snowbaby Hat by Janine LeCras, knit up in Patons SWS in the lovely Natural Earth colorway. If you make it extra huge, you can see that it doubles as an eye shade, as well!

You may thank me later for airbrushing out my corn(s).

Finally, I have finished a pair of Pedicure Socks intended as a Christmas gift for my cousin Judy, who has been both patient and understanding of my incredibly scattered style of knitting. Okay, of everything is scattered to the max--but let's just stick to the subject at hand, shall we...? They were made with Sinfonia yarn, which I purchased on sale during one of my lost afternoons at Hobby Lobby. I'm still working on her Geisha Socks, but It's still looking good for Easter...

Th-th-th-th-th-th-at's all, Folks!

Hey look! More Stuff To Fold Up!

Naturally, it's in Japanese. Just look at the nice pictures, and do like the guy in the video...



The Hole - video powered by Metacafe

This Is My World. For Real.

Can you identify?

Yeah, I've been knitting.

And here's proof:

This sock is one of two I actually finished for my Close, Personal, Special Friend, E. He's back from Trinidad (and Tobago), so I guess I should actually give them to him. I mean, they are (were) supposed to be his one of his Christmas gifts, after all. But until then, I think I'll just break 'em in a little... They're made with Berocco Ultra Alpaca in Color No. 6281, Redwood Mix. The pattern is the basic, but oh-so-practical Thuja from Knitty.

This actually got finished in time for Christmas, so I gave it to my cousin Sammy. It's a simple sideways scarf, made with Noro Kureyon Color 51. He seemed to like it, so I don't think he realizes it was ridiculously simple to make.

I took a picture of this book while attending a Stitch & Bitch at Touché, because it reminded me of Mona. It would have been nice had someone reminded me to actually e-mail it to her, because I haven't actually done that yet. Hey, I'll get around to it (eventually...)

This vision of loveliness features Mummy modelling a hideously garish skinny scarf which I made from some yarn donated to me a few years back. I made it by freestyling garter stitch with sections of drop stitch every nine rows. I chose nine because its got a very spiritual vibe. Therefore, I think I'll give it to my cousin Nona the Numerologist. But first, I'll have to unwedge it off Mother's head before she wakes up...

Once again, we have Mother catching (more than) forty winks while sporting this warm-yet-stylish earflap hat. Pattern is from the Winter 2005 issue of Interweave Knits, "Cover Your Ears" freebie (it's a PDF file). The yarn is courtesy of our pals chez Lion Brand. Using Wool-Ease Thickie-Quickie in Claret (or whatever the hell they call it), I finished it in a few hours. And you know me, I knit slow as all get out.

By this time, our model was getting even tired-er of the grueling work required to model some of my knitwear creations. (This can happen when you decide to use senior citizens for this stuff). Anyhow, I used Bernat Berella "4" in Velvet Night (purchased during one of my many junkets to Rossy located in the glamourous Les Galleries Lachine) to make the ultra-sporty Fibre-Trends Basic Beret (Pattern AC-3). Just think--if you use natural fiber yarn that's not created from some mysterious chemical compound, it can actually keep part of your head warm! Why not give it a try yourself?

At this point, Our Model Was Really Getting Sick of That Annoying Flash interrupting her nap. Nevertheless, trooper that she is, she toughed it out by wearing-the-hell outta this Old-Fart-On-A-Golf-Course-inspired tam, knit with Cascade Pastaza in colors 84 and 69. (I just love that number!) The whole thing started out as Wendy Bernard's Last-Minute Purled Beret, but morphed into something slightly different when The Muses shoved me way off course (they do that a lot).

So there you have it. These are but a few of the items I've actually completed during the past few months. I'll post the others if I feel like it. Those of you who know me personally realize that time may not come any time soon, so those of you who don't probably shouldn't hold your breath(s), unless you want a cheap head rush. And if you do, there are probably better ways to get those, but you won't find out about it here...

Mahalo!

Birds do it, bees do it...even really horny rams do it.

Then, one morning, I woke up
next to a horse, a hen, and an ear of corn—
that’s right, all the food groups.
And I was disgusted with myself. What was I, livestock?

And so I ran away, and I went wild.
I experimented with everyone and everything.
Bulls. Mules. Duck, duck, goose.
I found out exactly why they’re called the 3 Little Pigs...

These excerpts come from a brilliant piece, written by Mr. Paul Rudnick of the New Yorker. Read and learn.

In case you were wondering, this qualifies as official knitting content.