"Les Choses"

"Would somebody please shoot this fucking guy?!"
- Ricky (To the SWAT team sharpshooters, as he's being held at gunpoint by Mr. Lahey, from the Season 5 finale of "Trailer Park Boys").

I adore autumn. It started during my wayward adolescence. It was then that I realized I didn't really like hot weather. People describe autumn as being moody and unpredictable, which is frequently the way they describe my personality. But all that was before meds...yet I still adore autumn.

Yesterday, three people died, and as if that wasn't enough, we already had four people with services pending. Generally people like to die in clumps during the dog days of summer, and between Christmas and New Year's Day. This year, I guess we're getting the Rosh Hashana Crowd. Or maybe they were just dying for a little nosh. (Who knew?)

Fidel, my younger guinea pig, has come to the age where he is producing extra 'male substance' from his grease gland. Problem being, that it adheres to his ass fur, and is damn near impossible to remove. It's very similar in consistency and color to ear wax. It started when my friend Susan came for a visit, and got him all Excited by giving him lots and lots of baby carrots. Since that time, he's been perfectly boarish. (Sorry). But I really do need to take him for his annual medical with Dr. Gauvin. He doesn't have enormous salty low hangers like Val-Dijon, his beloved elder brother, but then again, he doesn't stink nearly as much, either. I should have known--they stay little for such a short time...

For those who care, I'm getting the long overdue 'oral makeover' this month and next. The first half of my treatments have been completed; bleaching and the gingivectomy. Aside from the pockets of blood and pus that oozed from my gums as they healed, the entire process was actually nearly next to painless. The bleaching however, damn near killed me. Well, actually it was the sensitivity in my teeth that damn near killed me. Eventually it subsided, and I am happy to announce that I can once again eat sorbet without wincing in agony. You'll never know how much I missed it for those two days.

My cousin Milton continues to bravely endure his illness (cancer in the brain, lung, and stomach). His wife says he is starting to lose weight, and has gotten incredibly thin, but still has enough energy to make brief trips to the casino (which is his favorite form of entertainment). I can only stand the place for brief periods at a time, because of all the freaks. I think they comp you extra if you show up with missing teeth and dirty fingernails. Or so it seems.

Since I'm not one to write often, merely excessively, I will close now. Stay tuned for the latest installment (but don't hold your breath). The weather has been delightful, and I have to get out and up in it...

One,
D.