Still sucks to be here...continued.

“This is Nebraska,” he says. “It’s a terrible place to be. It is an ultraconservative, ultra-racist state. I would not advise anybody black to come here.”

Read it and weep.

Need That Last Minute Christmas Gift?

I guess they really do sell everything.

(Who knew?) And don't forget to read the 'Comments' section...

Catball.

Or if you prefer, a "Ball O' Cats."

I like cats, I really do. It's my immune system that doesn't. And while that sucks, I'm generally able to get through the inconvenience that snot, boogers, and crusty stuff in my eyes create quite nicely with the help of some Benadryl. But sometimes, I get overcome by an incoming attack of cuteness, and allow 10-day old kittens to curl up in my lap in a furry, purring, writhing, catball. And that's how this adorable (slap me if I ever use the word 'darling' as an adjective) photo came to be.

These precious little things came to be due to my dear friend Leslie's highly libidinous cats. You see, Avalon and Ashley have just gotta have it, if you get my meaning, and I think you do. Right when Leslie plans to take them on a visit to the local spay and neuter clinic, las gatas locas make a run for it, and start catting around, and well--catballs ensue.

If anyone has a pattern for a kitty-cat chastity belt please e-mail me immediately.

Thank you.

Tacky, yet useful-The Series.

Today's helpful hint combines functionality with environmental awareness. Plus, it keeps the cat out of your yarn as you attempt to make something with it.

Materials required:

Scissors or an exacto knife
a big plastic bottle of your choice,
and some yarn.

Cut the bottle in half, widthwise. Take the bottom part and cut a notch in it lengthwise, about an inch or two. Stick the yarn in the bottom part, thread through the top part (bottle opening), then wedge the two together.

And there you have it. A cheap, tacky, and functional yarn container thast keeps the damn cat (or whomever) out of your yarn while you try to make something with it. You can even dress it up a bit by creating a bottle cozy. If you want to go completely ol' skool, make a hideous looking plastic canvas cuff to fit around it so you can obscure the split in the bottle. This is a project that just SKA-REEEEEMS Red Heart Super Saver, or better yet, Phentex!--so everybody getcha some and get busy, baby...

It's not just me.

Cousin Elaine, Mummy power napping, & Lil' Walter

For those of you who expect a bit more knitting content, see the middle shot which features my mother, inadvertantly modelling the leg warmers I made for her birthday. Elaine lives in the Denver area, as does (not so) Lil' Walter. Elaine is struggling with a bad nicotine habit, and Walter is frequently teased about his resemblance to the character 'Hercules' from Eddie Murphy's remake of "The Nutty Professor." (In all fairness, he had a few beers when I shot the picture). As is the case with Yours Truly, it's difficult to tell if he's tipsy, or is just straight up goofy, without the help of chemical substances.

I realize that any number of you knitting types want to see what I've been working on during my absence, so I offer to you the following, featuring me in a wife beater, modelling the gauntlets I made from yarn purchased in Vermont at the Wool & Sheep Festival, as well as one of my many pairs of Addi's. I have other things, but I don't really feel like posting them right here, right now. So get off my back.

Thank you.

* Mother has no idea whatsoever that this picture is on the web, for all the world to see. A word to the wise, s.v.p.