I'm So Not Doing That.

Is this supposed to be a surprise or something??

You Are Miss Piggy

A total princess and diva, you're totally in charge - even if people don't know it. You want to be loved, adored, and worshiped. And you won't settle for anything less. You're going to be a total star, and you won't let any of the "little people" get in your way. Just remember, piggy, never eat more than you can lift!

The Muppet Personality Test

Profane West Indian Videos, Part II

If you need a translation, ask a Jamaican (or e-mail me).
Proof of age required; restricted to those over the age of 18-ish).

Filler.

Which Godzilla movie monster are you?

You are: Mothra! You are emotional and deep in thought. You have strong opinions and care greatly about friends, family and issues concerning your environment and community. Mostly a peace lover, however when you have to, you kick ass with intelligence and strategy. Take this quiz! Quizilla | Join | Make A Quiz | More Quizzes | Grab Code

Guess Where I'm Trapped!

...People in Nebraska are noticeably larger. Maybe it was just the buffet restaurant we went to - a smorgasbord featuring dozens of pastas, greasy foods and at least two types of brownies in a fantastic dessert bar - but it sure seems that eating in the Midwest is a serious pastime.

Read more gory details here.

Gotta go now.

Okay, bye.

But I don't even smoke...(or think).

What Famous Leader Are You?
personality tests by similarminds.com

Fun with furry things (and more)!

Here's another shot of Miss Pearl, who refuses to graze on these heinous furry-looking thongs I made for my Cousin Judy, in her special 'girl gang' colors. (I'm fairly certain her dog will use them as chew toys).
These are some socks I'm currently working on, which are made from Hill Country 'Sweet Feet' sock yarn. The colorway is called Purple Mountain, which is strange, because I've yet to see any mountains that are such a vivid shade of blue. I bought them from 'Discount Yarn Sale' on a whim, and the hand is so nice, I can't stop touching them! (Not to worry though, I'm still able to maintain my knitter's ADD).

Earlier in the week, I splurged and picked up some Colinette JitterBug in a colorway I think has got to be mislabelled. It claims to be 'Sahara' but it looks nothing at all like the photos of colorways I've seen on any number of sites. (I'll check again to see what-the-hell happened and let you know). While I really like the way Hill Country Yarn knits up, I have to say that the JitterBug is without question, the best sock yarn I've ever worked with in my entire life. Perhaps even longer. Like say, maybe a previous life. (Can't say for sure, since I believe that I was an amnesiac in all my previously lives). It hasn't fuzzed up at all, and it's so nicely plied, that even I haven't split the living daylights out of the yarn. When I quit fondling it, I'll take a picture and post it.

While I'm on the subject of fascinating projects 'whipped up' with yarn, I suggest you check out this link to a project from 'The Anticraft.' In particular, pay special attention to the dialogue between The Artiste and her mother, who wondered exactly what she was 'up to' so to speak, with her good sock yarn. 'Something to do with the Longhorns?!' Man, that's a good one...it just cracks me up!!

To close, the masses have requested that I re-post the URL for Miss Pearl's My Space page, so click on the hyperlink, and find yourself transformed to the mystical wonderland that is her virtual world...

Stay strange. I know I will.

Sanjaya Anthem

By Popular Demand...

This is What's Up.

Last week, I was circling the block looking for a parking space, and decided to impede what little traffic there was in Downtown Omaha by taking a few pictures...

Scenes from beautiful downtown Omaha...or,
(why the hell is there a buffalo stuck in that building?)

This concludes the 'stale destinations' portion of this post. Here's the knitting content part I've neglected as of late. For your review, are a few of my many, many, (many) knitting projects. Yours Truly is the model, as Mother has threatened me with legal action if I don't give the whole candid camera thing a rest.

The Never-Ending Sock
Pattern: Something or other from
"Knitting Vintage Socks" by Nancy Bush
Yarn: Lisa Souza Sock! in Mars Quake
Needle size: 2.5mm

The Boysenberry Waffle Sock
Pattern: I'm altering it as I go along.
Yarn: Koigu PPPM 'Glass of Cabernet'
Needle size: 2.75mm

Jaywalker Interrupted
Pattern: Grumperina's Masterpiece
Yarn: Koigu PPM
(I've temporarily misplaced the yarn band--my bad.)
Needle size: 2.5mm

Yarn: Misti Alpaca Hand Dyed Worsted
Pattern: Lion Brand Lace Beanie
Mood: Tense.

That is all.

Beware the Ides of March (and men's crotches).

According to studies, men stare at the naughty bits of baseball players, while women focus on the face. Although this is relevant of nothing in particular, you can learn the details about this right here.

I'll post knitting and/or sports content at a later date. Just be thankful I'm here to pass on all this valuable information, sans frais.

Now That I've Got Your Attention...

Shouldn't it actually read 'hangin'?

This horrifying visual has nothing at all to do with the real message of this post. I uploaded it only to get your attention. (And since you're reading this now, it obviously worked). Miss Pearl, my beloved rodent, has recently unveiled her 'My Space' page to rave reviews, amassing a whole bunch of celebrity friends, some of whom are actually human!

But 'La Pearl' isn't one of those snobbish types who star trips. She's a true pig of the people, and would be happy to have you (yes, You) as a friend. Click here to see her page, and leave a comment. And be sure to check back early and often. She's a very popular pig indeed!

Weird, Cute, & Provocative

...yet it has nothing to do with Britney. Who knew?? It's the:

Gansta Happy Feet Remix!

This Is My World. For Real.

Can you identify?

Yeah, I've been knitting.

And here's proof:

This sock is one of two I actually finished for my Close, Personal, Special Friend, E. He's back from Trinidad (and Tobago), so I guess I should actually give them to him. I mean, they are (were) supposed to be his one of his Christmas gifts, after all. But until then, I think I'll just break 'em in a little... They're made with Berocco Ultra Alpaca in Color No. 6281, Redwood Mix. The pattern is the basic, but oh-so-practical Thuja from Knitty.

This actually got finished in time for Christmas, so I gave it to my cousin Sammy. It's a simple sideways scarf, made with Noro Kureyon Color 51. He seemed to like it, so I don't think he realizes it was ridiculously simple to make.

I took a picture of this book while attending a Stitch & Bitch at Touché, because it reminded me of Mona. It would have been nice had someone reminded me to actually e-mail it to her, because I haven't actually done that yet. Hey, I'll get around to it (eventually...)

This vision of loveliness features Mummy modelling a hideously garish skinny scarf which I made from some yarn donated to me a few years back. I made it by freestyling garter stitch with sections of drop stitch every nine rows. I chose nine because its got a very spiritual vibe. Therefore, I think I'll give it to my cousin Nona the Numerologist. But first, I'll have to unwedge it off Mother's head before she wakes up...

Once again, we have Mother catching (more than) forty winks while sporting this warm-yet-stylish earflap hat. Pattern is from the Winter 2005 issue of Interweave Knits, "Cover Your Ears" freebie (it's a PDF file). The yarn is courtesy of our pals chez Lion Brand. Using Wool-Ease Thickie-Quickie in Claret (or whatever the hell they call it), I finished it in a few hours. And you know me, I knit slow as all get out.

By this time, our model was getting even tired-er of the grueling work required to model some of my knitwear creations. (This can happen when you decide to use senior citizens for this stuff). Anyhow, I used Bernat Berella "4" in Velvet Night (purchased during one of my many junkets to Rossy located in the glamourous Les Galleries Lachine) to make the ultra-sporty Fibre-Trends Basic Beret (Pattern AC-3). Just think--if you use natural fiber yarn that's not created from some mysterious chemical compound, it can actually keep part of your head warm! Why not give it a try yourself?

At this point, Our Model Was Really Getting Sick of That Annoying Flash interrupting her nap. Nevertheless, trooper that she is, she toughed it out by wearing-the-hell outta this Old-Fart-On-A-Golf-Course-inspired tam, knit with Cascade Pastaza in colors 84 and 69. (I just love that number!) The whole thing started out as Wendy Bernard's Last-Minute Purled Beret, but morphed into something slightly different when The Muses shoved me way off course (they do that a lot).

So there you have it. These are but a few of the items I've actually completed during the past few months. I'll post the others if I feel like it. Those of you who know me personally realize that time may not come any time soon, so those of you who don't probably shouldn't hold your breath(s), unless you want a cheap head rush. And if you do, there are probably better ways to get those, but you won't find out about it here...

Mahalo!

Birds do it, bees do it...even really horny rams do it.

Then, one morning, I woke up
next to a horse, a hen, and an ear of corn—
that’s right, all the food groups.
And I was disgusted with myself. What was I, livestock?

And so I ran away, and I went wild.
I experimented with everyone and everything.
Bulls. Mules. Duck, duck, goose.
I found out exactly why they’re called the 3 Little Pigs...

These excerpts come from a brilliant piece, written by Mr. Paul Rudnick of the New Yorker. Read and learn.

In case you were wondering, this qualifies as official knitting content.

So Amazing.

This picture of an overdressed guinea pig has nothing to do with an amazing way to fold t-shirts that's positively origasmic. Dig it.

Who the hell are these people?

With the exceptions of Mme. Huppert and the Fabulous Nana Mouskouri, I haven't a clue who in hell who these people are. (Don't you hate it when you resemble celebrities that you haven't even heard of? I know I do). Okay, perhaps I have heard of a few others, but come on, Chester Bennington?? So much for facial recognition software...Looks like I seriously need to stay away from Malaysia, The Philippines, Japan, and hell--most of Asia lest I be mobbed by adoring, yet myopic fans...or political assassins. And Chester Bennington?? Wow. Who knew?

This is the best website ever...period!

Happy New Year!Recycling at its strangest

This is without a doubt one of the most bizarre craft sites I've ever seen. Coming from me, that has GOT to count for something. Naturally, I felt the need to share it with you. Make sure you check this out--it's so worth it.

(Thanks to my friend Susan for sharing this with me. She wants to make the gun. I guess her PMS is worse than mine...who knew?)