Stuff I Like.

First, I have to give a shout out to MaggieBelize from Ravelry, who graciously accepted my blind enquiry about life (and men) in Belize. It's great corresponding with another knitterista who is loves typing about the Central American/Caribbean nation. Speaking of Belize, it's time to post another pic of one of the many hot papis from my ¡caliente! file:

This is Orlando Habet
(and I wants me some of that)

Mr. Habet is the official head of chickens, (or some such title having to do with poultry). I know just looking at him has me ovulating. If I can still do that (hard to tell anymore).

I like this sock.

Meanwhile, I'm still knitting all manner of items, among which, I have an assload in my queue (so to speak). Earlier in the day, I came across this pattern called 'Fluke' as in, 'if I ever manage not to screw up lace, it'll be a real fluke.' I've included a photo of how they're supposed to look. Although I'm too demented and visually impared to knit lace, hope springs eternal, and I keep trying, just the same. When will I learn? Ms. Laurie Lee of SLC is the designer of this lovely pattern, by the way.

As to my escape from Corn Country, I imagine it'll be sometime in June. Some serious shit is going down in my world, and it's completely thrown a spanner in my works. The breaks, you know? Nevertheless, my refusal to acknowledge reality will keep me from completely giving in to adversity. I figure if it worked for Dan Quayle, it can work for me...

More to come. Meanwhile, enjoy the pretty pictures, and celebrate spring--even if it includes the occasional snowflake.

One,
- d.

Excessive Knitting Content, including brief nudity, but no display of genitalia.

Mother as Pat Benatar

This was knitted after seeing the pattern by Mintyfresh on Ravelry.
I used Cotton Fleece, but it's designed as a way
to use up oddments of sock yarn
(and in my case, beads).
Please note, I have nothing to do with the faux-leopard print dress.

Mother Annoyed
with Kate, who is nude, without limbs or ears,
and resting on Mummy's shoulder.
Kind of makes her look like a light bulb, eh?

Posh Lucia Sock Yarn in the color 'Reassure.'
4-ply 70% merino, 30% cashmere, It's kind of stringy...
I don't think I like it.

I call this sock 'I Poop Corn.'
The name comes from this disgusting story that Ms. Violet's beloved,
'Sideshow Husband' told me.
I'd tell you myself, but I'm posting this too close to suppertime for all that.
(E-mail me for details).
The sock pattern, by Nancy Bush is from the Interweave Knits, Fall 2005 issue. It's cabled (and ribbed) for your pleasure. I'm using "Knit Picks Essential Tweed" in Inca Gold,
which is considerably softer than KP Essential without the Tweed.
I haven't washed it yet, so we'll see how it holds up.

After losing the strap somewhere in the abyss that is the kitchen,
I knit up another one using Lion Brand 'Incredible' Yarn.
This is done in seed stitch on size 6mm needles. Or 5.5mm.
I forget...

Dalida is the newest member of our family.
Although she's rather uh...'big boned,' she's actually still a baby.
Due to her coloring (she has a small swath of brown
on the left side behind her ear),
her street name is Lil' Skidz.
The good news is, she's only peed on me twice.
This too, has nothing to do with knitting,
but since I dearly love guinea pigs of all sizes,
here's a picture of a capybara relaxing at the Montreal Biodome.

I'll post more when I actually feel like it, and that may not be any time prior to mid-October. I'm supposed to attend a family reunion in Las Cruces, New Mexico of all places. When I return, I'll have lots of incriminating photos to post, no doubt. Following that, I hope to return to Montreal for the rest of the year, at least.

While I'm away, buy this book and knit everything in it.
It's fabulous. Seriously.

Okay, bye.

Socks 'n Death (featuring le maudit gazon...)

"Meet the family."

As many of you know, the end of May is when we go on our annual 'Death Tour' in which we visit five cemeteries over two days in three states. This year's extravaganza included a wedding, and a lovely visit with relatives (live ones) with whom we rarely get to spend time.

Nothing says 'There's no place like home,'
quite like a rainbow in Kansas (in a cemetery, no less).

When I wasn't bent over with a fistful of garrish artificial flowers, I spent time finishing up a bunch of socks begun during my much too brief time in Montreal. I bought some lovely Opal Rainforest sock yarn in the Ladybug colorway from my knit-sistas at Ariadne Knits. I also bought some Soft Sea Wool, a delicious new sock yarn from Reynolds. Should I ever finish something with it, I'll be sure to post it. Meanwhile, dig this:

Something I actually finished.
Created and modelled by Yours Truly.

Proof that I actually completed both socks. Amazing!

Slipper socks featuring some heinous novelty yarn
and Knit Picks something-or-other from my stash.

My cousin Rachelle is gracious enough to accept my experiments in slipper-making. This f.o. demonstrates how serendipity led me to knit these screaming green numbers. It provided a great way to use up the loudest of novelty yarn that finds it way into your stash, not unlike a date with some reject you thought you found attractive at a low point in your life; (i.e. 'what-the-hell was I thinking?!)

This concludes the knitting portion of this blog, for now. (Mahalo!)

Shout out to my Knittas in T-Dot

Fun with furry things (and more)!

Here's another shot of Miss Pearl, who refuses to graze on these heinous furry-looking thongs I made for my Cousin Judy, in her special 'girl gang' colors. (I'm fairly certain her dog will use them as chew toys).
These are some socks I'm currently working on, which are made from Hill Country 'Sweet Feet' sock yarn. The colorway is called Purple Mountain, which is strange, because I've yet to see any mountains that are such a vivid shade of blue. I bought them from 'Discount Yarn Sale' on a whim, and the hand is so nice, I can't stop touching them! (Not to worry though, I'm still able to maintain my knitter's ADD).

Earlier in the week, I splurged and picked up some Colinette JitterBug in a colorway I think has got to be mislabelled. It claims to be 'Sahara' but it looks nothing at all like the photos of colorways I've seen on any number of sites. (I'll check again to see what-the-hell happened and let you know). While I really like the way Hill Country Yarn knits up, I have to say that the JitterBug is without question, the best sock yarn I've ever worked with in my entire life. Perhaps even longer. Like say, maybe a previous life. (Can't say for sure, since I believe that I was an amnesiac in all my previously lives). It hasn't fuzzed up at all, and it's so nicely plied, that even I haven't split the living daylights out of the yarn. When I quit fondling it, I'll take a picture and post it.

While I'm on the subject of fascinating projects 'whipped up' with yarn, I suggest you check out this link to a project from 'The Anticraft.' In particular, pay special attention to the dialogue between The Artiste and her mother, who wondered exactly what she was 'up to' so to speak, with her good sock yarn. 'Something to do with the Longhorns?!' Man, that's a good one...it just cracks me up!!

To close, the masses have requested that I re-post the URL for Miss Pearl's My Space page, so click on the hyperlink, and find yourself transformed to the mystical wonderland that is her virtual world...

Stay strange. I know I will.

This is What's Up.

Last week, I was circling the block looking for a parking space, and decided to impede what little traffic there was in Downtown Omaha by taking a few pictures...

Scenes from beautiful downtown Omaha...or,
(why the hell is there a buffalo stuck in that building?)

This concludes the 'stale destinations' portion of this post. Here's the knitting content part I've neglected as of late. For your review, are a few of my many, many, (many) knitting projects. Yours Truly is the model, as Mother has threatened me with legal action if I don't give the whole candid camera thing a rest.

The Never-Ending Sock
Pattern: Something or other from
"Knitting Vintage Socks" by Nancy Bush
Yarn: Lisa Souza Sock! in Mars Quake
Needle size: 2.5mm

The Boysenberry Waffle Sock
Pattern: I'm altering it as I go along.
Yarn: Koigu PPPM 'Glass of Cabernet'
Needle size: 2.75mm

Jaywalker Interrupted
Pattern: Grumperina's Masterpiece
Yarn: Koigu PPM
(I've temporarily misplaced the yarn band--my bad.)
Needle size: 2.5mm

Yarn: Misti Alpaca Hand Dyed Worsted
Pattern: Lion Brand Lace Beanie
Mood: Tense.

That is all.

I actually finished something (else).

Crazy Sexy Crafty Cool.

I believe poverty is the mother of invention, not necessity. At best, necessity is a distant cousin. The kind you never hear from until they want to hit you up for jack. Anyway, I used both indigence and necessity to the fullest in creating this useful-yet-decorative row counter thang, that also serves as a stitch marker. Ain't it cute?

And speaking of cute...

Hey look! It's everybody's favorite model!!

This is another one of my FO's during the ongoing Winter of My Discontent. It's the Snowbaby Hat by Janine LeCras, knit up in Patons SWS in the lovely Natural Earth colorway. If you make it extra huge, you can see that it doubles as an eye shade, as well!

You may thank me later for airbrushing out my corn(s).

Finally, I have finished a pair of Pedicure Socks intended as a Christmas gift for my cousin Judy, who has been both patient and understanding of my incredibly scattered style of knitting. Okay, of everything is scattered to the max--but let's just stick to the subject at hand, shall we...? They were made with Sinfonia yarn, which I purchased on sale during one of my lost afternoons at Hobby Lobby. I'm still working on her Geisha Socks, but It's still looking good for Easter...

Th-th-th-th-th-th-at's all, Folks!

Yeah, I've been knitting.

And here's proof:

This sock is one of two I actually finished for my Close, Personal, Special Friend, E. He's back from Trinidad (and Tobago), so I guess I should actually give them to him. I mean, they are (were) supposed to be his one of his Christmas gifts, after all. But until then, I think I'll just break 'em in a little... They're made with Berocco Ultra Alpaca in Color No. 6281, Redwood Mix. The pattern is the basic, but oh-so-practical Thuja from Knitty.

This actually got finished in time for Christmas, so I gave it to my cousin Sammy. It's a simple sideways scarf, made with Noro Kureyon Color 51. He seemed to like it, so I don't think he realizes it was ridiculously simple to make.

I took a picture of this book while attending a Stitch & Bitch at Touché, because it reminded me of Mona. It would have been nice had someone reminded me to actually e-mail it to her, because I haven't actually done that yet. Hey, I'll get around to it (eventually...)

This vision of loveliness features Mummy modelling a hideously garish skinny scarf which I made from some yarn donated to me a few years back. I made it by freestyling garter stitch with sections of drop stitch every nine rows. I chose nine because its got a very spiritual vibe. Therefore, I think I'll give it to my cousin Nona the Numerologist. But first, I'll have to unwedge it off Mother's head before she wakes up...

Once again, we have Mother catching (more than) forty winks while sporting this warm-yet-stylish earflap hat. Pattern is from the Winter 2005 issue of Interweave Knits, "Cover Your Ears" freebie (it's a PDF file). The yarn is courtesy of our pals chez Lion Brand. Using Wool-Ease Thickie-Quickie in Claret (or whatever the hell they call it), I finished it in a few hours. And you know me, I knit slow as all get out.

By this time, our model was getting even tired-er of the grueling work required to model some of my knitwear creations. (This can happen when you decide to use senior citizens for this stuff). Anyhow, I used Bernat Berella "4" in Velvet Night (purchased during one of my many junkets to Rossy located in the glamourous Les Galleries Lachine) to make the ultra-sporty Fibre-Trends Basic Beret (Pattern AC-3). Just think--if you use natural fiber yarn that's not created from some mysterious chemical compound, it can actually keep part of your head warm! Why not give it a try yourself?

At this point, Our Model Was Really Getting Sick of That Annoying Flash interrupting her nap. Nevertheless, trooper that she is, she toughed it out by wearing-the-hell outta this Old-Fart-On-A-Golf-Course-inspired tam, knit with Cascade Pastaza in colors 84 and 69. (I just love that number!) The whole thing started out as Wendy Bernard's Last-Minute Purled Beret, but morphed into something slightly different when The Muses shoved me way off course (they do that a lot).

So there you have it. These are but a few of the items I've actually completed during the past few months. I'll post the others if I feel like it. Those of you who know me personally realize that time may not come any time soon, so those of you who don't probably shouldn't hold your breath(s), unless you want a cheap head rush. And if you do, there are probably better ways to get those, but you won't find out about it here...

Mahalo!

Birds do it, bees do it...even really horny rams do it.

Then, one morning, I woke up
next to a horse, a hen, and an ear of corn—
that’s right, all the food groups.
And I was disgusted with myself. What was I, livestock?

And so I ran away, and I went wild.
I experimented with everyone and everything.
Bulls. Mules. Duck, duck, goose.
I found out exactly why they’re called the 3 Little Pigs...

These excerpts come from a brilliant piece, written by Mr. Paul Rudnick of the New Yorker. Read and learn.

In case you were wondering, this qualifies as official knitting content.