Useful Things.

During my exile, I tried knitting a necktie with self-striping sock yarn.

I failed miserably.

My hands/arms/elbow/shoulder/neck got sore from trying to wield the ultra-unwieldy size 2.75 mm needles, and what's more, my vision limitations meant I couldn't see fuck all!

What to do, what to do...

Turn the half-assed Piece-O-Shit into Something Practical, that's what! (Despite my scorn toward all things in America's Heartland, I have to admit, my innate Midwestern practicality remains within, not unlike my ongoing battle of the bulge; but I digress...)

As perimenopause transforms rapidly into full-blown menopause, I find myself needing more and more little pouches to shlepp around in my purse for various and sundry ephemera, e.g.:

A great way to eliminate wrapper fatigue!

High-tech protection!

Sometimes you have to double-bag it.

But then, you never know...

When the flood gates open, it expands!

And finally,

Relief from those pesky hot flashes!

I was going to include a photo of my self-striping pouch holding my digital camera, but since I was using it to take the picture, I gave up on that. Sure, I could have used my phone to snap a pic, but I can't remember where I stuck my phone's USB cable. (It's around here somewhere, but then hell, what isn't??)

Okay, well...that's all for now. Peace.

Finally! A Quiz That's Timely (but still a bit inaccurate)

You are Bettie Page

Girl next door with a wild streak You're a famous beauty - with unique look And the people like you are cultish about it

What Famous Pinup Are You?

My yarn...

has arrived, but not Chez Moi. You see, (in my infinite wisdom, borne of the need to sidestep the bureaucracy involved in declaring stuff to customs that I already own,* and mostly bought in Canada anyway), I sent it to a friend's place in Prévost. (Yes, Prévost. See Figure A). Soon as this friend gets enough jack to fill his gas tank, he'll drive the 60 kms needed to deliver the two biggest of the five boxes mailed, right to my doorstep. Or patio. (Depending upon the weather, of course).

Figure A

Now, all I need are my books. Those are addressed to me, at my actual residence. Hopefully they'll arrive soon, as well. Since both the USPS and Canada Post are involved, I'm not about to hold my breath...

I'll keep everyone up-to-date on these important matters as (or if) they develop. Straight up and for real. Would I lie?

* Breathe here.

Obligatory Knitting Content and Unintentional Furniture Makeovers.

"My Thang."

I finished Jillian Moreno's Bob & Weave a few months ago, however have yet to actually get it blocked and completed (you know, the weaving part). Sure, I have the ribbon yarn required, and I even cut it in the required lengths, as per the pattern. In the meantime, I found it made a really nice covering for Grandma's French Provincial armchair, so there it remained for the months of February and March. I brought it with me back to Montreal, and plan to get it blocked and all that very, very soon. But don't ask when. It'd destroy my bliss.

Because I know you like nasty things, too.

(1) Dig this crazy link
(2) Once there, click in the box where it reads 'Play'
(3) Sit back, relax, and enjoy.

N.B.: This isn't particularly workplace friendly. If your kids see you laughing at it, they'll get the wrong idea that you're cooler than you actually are. Anyone with a penis might not find it as amusing as those of us who don't. You've been warned.

This is a Huge Steaming Pile.

Besides, I wanted to be Samantha! She was the only one I actually admired.

You Are Most Like Carrie!

You're quirky, flirty, and every guy's perfect first date. But can the guy in question live up to your romantic ideal? It's tough for you to find the right match - you're more than a little picky. Never fear... You've got a great group of friends and a great closet of clothes, no matter what! Romantic prediction: You'll fall for someone this year... Totally different from any guy you've dated.

Which Sex and the City Vixen Are You?

Je suis icitte... but my yarn isn't.

This is a photo of the yarn stash I packaged for mailing to Montreal, featuring the Easter Lilly I got on the cheap Easter Monday. The cheezy plastic egg comes courtesy of Mother. Keep in mind this represents about 80% of my total stash...I only shipped the stuff I just had to have near and dear. Included in these big ass boxes are bits and pieces of my Knitting Library, save for the magazines, which can wait (for now).

As of this writing, they haven't yet arrived, but no doubt the yahoos of Homeland Security are busy photocopying their favorite patterns and running their grimy little paws through my beloved fiber. Bastards!

At least I didn't have to deal with that hateful TSA woman with the beep-beep wand when I cleared security at the airport. (Tender mercies and all that).

More news on my travel adventures to follow. Stay tuned...

I am feeling this completely...

...Because it's so very real. Despite my affinity for extra-hot pork rinds and melons purchased from some old dude with no teeth in a raggedy pickup, I will spend money (I don't have) on yarn (I can't afford), which in itself is straight-up ghetto.

Get schooled here, y'all.