This will really blow your...mind.

So there I was, driving down the road, listening to 'As It Happens,' when I hear them talking about penises. Lots and lots of penises, in fact. Naturally, I turned up the volume, because normally, that kind of thing doesn't generally make the news. It turns out, they were doing a story about Sigurdur Hjartarson's Phallological Museum in Iceland. Hell, I didn't realize there was a Phallological Museum anywhere on the planet, but why not? Turns out they have specimens from most mammals, except for one, and I bet you can guess which one that is...I'd tell you more, but I don't want to ruin the surprise. Here's a link to the show (the story begins at 22:39, if you're in a big, big, big hurry). If you're like me, you probably want to read up on this, and you can, by simply following this link and/or this one.
They include fascinating bits of info such as, the legal standard (in Iceland) for penises, a definition of the ancient science that is Phallology, and a listing of current (a-HEM) members. And for those of you partying to a global vibe, they even have a site translation in Esperanto!

There are some really charming graphics, as well. It may not be safe for work (lest you work in urology), but straight up...You know you're going to check it out.

So go! Click!! Learn!!!

N.B.: This concludes the educational portion of this month's postings. I hope.

The best is yet to come...

"The Most Fabulous Guinea Pig Ever."

The Sequel to PC

Too Real.

Not quite what you were expecting...?

True Terror.

....Eeeeww.

For those of you who were wishing for a post, deal with this visual. Can you Name the Celebrity Bunion? Here's a hint: 'manky slag.' Here's another one--her husband makes his living using his feet. I feel bad for their offspring..for so many reasons.

Meanwhile, here are a few items of note that have transpired since my last missive--it got hot as all hell again, the humidity continues to rise, I still have a headache (although it's far less severe), and after two-and-a-half months of PMS, menopause has once again gone dormant. I'm still starting countless knitting projects, and finishing very few (but it's a part of the process, you understand). Omaha remains unbearable, but scandalizing the locals keeps my brain from atrophying further. Tragically, it takes so little to upset them, that I require further challenges than this godforsaken pit of agricultural hell offers. Mais le plus ça change...

The good news is I got on Ravelry, and the corn here is freaking HUGE, but the bad news is I'm seriously addicted, and it doesn't digest so good.

Apply those any way you like. Time for more Excedrin. Peace!

Owieowieowieowieowie...

I've been suffering through this migraine for over a-week-and-a-fucking-half now, and it's truly blowing my mind. It actually feels like my mind is literally blowing up inside my skull, to be precise, and none of my usual drugs are beating back the evil beast into submission. So, I spent last evening in the ER of the nearest hospital getting drugs shot into my system, in the hope it would be somewhat more effective.

After the buzz wore off, guess what? It wasn't.

Meanwhile, I'm swallowing fistfuls of analgesics so that at least the throbbing will cease. If I believed in Satan, I'd swear that the devil himself had crawled up and into my head, parked his troublemaking ass near my left eyeball, and begun to squeeze it for all he's worth, because the whole thing genuinely FEELS LIKE HELL.

Can you dig it? (I knew that you could).

But enough whining for now. Here are a few of the projects I've either finished or tried to finish up (when my vision returns for brief periods, anyway)...

You see, my stuff goes well with aging linoleum, concrete,
and/or really painful platforms. Cool, ain't it?

Most of the patterns are based upon those from Kate Atherley's 'Basic Ribbed Sock Pattern' because I don't feeling like thinking deeply when the weather is this shitty. The drugs aren't much help toward concentration, either. But the yarns used (from top to bottom) are as follows: Meilenweit Fantasy, Color No. 4830, Hill Country Sweet Feet in Purple Mountain, and Regia 4-Ply Canadian Color No. 4741 (aka Brazil). The one in the middle was knit using 2.5mm needles, while the others were made on 2.25mm. And I haven't a clue as to why Regia thought Brazil had fuck-all to do with Canadian Color. Whatever.

In addition, I whipped up the lovely Lutea Lace-Shoulder Shell from the latest Interweave Knits, which I chose to make using Brown Sheep Cotton Fleece in Salmon Berry Red from two (count-em!) dye lots. I don't care if anyone notices or not, because I'm in pain. So there. I'll post it when I get a proper pic of it to post.

But now, I'm sigining off, because all this mess is straining what's left of my eyesight.

Stay real!

Ya Think...?

Indie Personality Test Results

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Filler.

Which Godzilla movie monster are you?

You are: Mothra! You are emotional and deep in thought. You have strong opinions and care greatly about friends, family and issues concerning your environment and community. Mostly a peace lover, however when you have to, you kick ass with intelligence and strategy. Take this quiz! Quizilla | Join | Make A Quiz | More Quizzes | Grab Code

Another one from the "Oh Wow" Dept.

...uh, "no comment."

Socks 'n Death (featuring le maudit gazon...)

"Meet the family."

As many of you know, the end of May is when we go on our annual 'Death Tour' in which we visit five cemeteries over two days in three states. This year's extravaganza included a wedding, and a lovely visit with relatives (live ones) with whom we rarely get to spend time.

Nothing says 'There's no place like home,'
quite like a rainbow in Kansas (in a cemetery, no less).

When I wasn't bent over with a fistful of garrish artificial flowers, I spent time finishing up a bunch of socks begun during my much too brief time in Montreal. I bought some lovely Opal Rainforest sock yarn in the Ladybug colorway from my knit-sistas at Ariadne Knits. I also bought some Soft Sea Wool, a delicious new sock yarn from Reynolds. Should I ever finish something with it, I'll be sure to post it. Meanwhile, dig this:

Something I actually finished.
Created and modelled by Yours Truly.

Proof that I actually completed both socks. Amazing!

Slipper socks featuring some heinous novelty yarn
and Knit Picks something-or-other from my stash.

My cousin Rachelle is gracious enough to accept my experiments in slipper-making. This f.o. demonstrates how serendipity led me to knit these screaming green numbers. It provided a great way to use up the loudest of novelty yarn that finds it way into your stash, not unlike a date with some reject you thought you found attractive at a low point in your life; (i.e. 'what-the-hell was I thinking?!)

This concludes the knitting portion of this blog, for now. (Mahalo!)

Guess Where I'm Trapped!

...People in Nebraska are noticeably larger. Maybe it was just the buffet restaurant we went to - a smorgasbord featuring dozens of pastas, greasy foods and at least two types of brownies in a fantastic dessert bar - but it sure seems that eating in the Midwest is a serious pastime.

Read more gory details here.

Gotta go now.

Okay, bye.

Shout out to my Knittas in T-Dot

Now THAT'S Completely Fucked.

Why didn't somebody out there hook a sista up???!!

Suffice it to say, I'm highly perturbed by the results of last night's American Idol. Not only should Melinda be in the final, she definitely should have WON the entire thing--because she IS the best singer, period. What's more, she has the most polish of any of the contestants featured this season. I knew the fix was in for Jordin (she's young and cute, and all that which a pop princess is expected to be), but Blake? He's good, but da-a-a-a-a-m-m-m-m-n, he's no Melinda.

If Jordin doesn't go on to win the entire mess, I'll know The Evil Dick (Cheney) has rigged this shit, as well!

But I don't even smoke...(or think).

What Famous Leader Are You?
personality tests by similarminds.com

Happiest shit ever.

...Seriously!

Why do I find this so amusing...?

I can't help it--but kids in little muu-muu's crack me up.

I stole it trom Tara.

What Is Your Battle Cry?

Stalking amidst the candy store, swinging a studded crowbar, cometh Deawn! And she gives a spectacular grunt: "I'm going to torment you so utterly, you'll reincarnate as an X-file!"

Find out! Enter username: Are you a girl, or a guy ?

created by beatings : powered by monkeys

Go see what you can steal, too!

Fun with furry things (and more)!

Here's another shot of Miss Pearl, who refuses to graze on these heinous furry-looking thongs I made for my Cousin Judy, in her special 'girl gang' colors. (I'm fairly certain her dog will use them as chew toys).
These are some socks I'm currently working on, which are made from Hill Country 'Sweet Feet' sock yarn. The colorway is called Purple Mountain, which is strange, because I've yet to see any mountains that are such a vivid shade of blue. I bought them from 'Discount Yarn Sale' on a whim, and the hand is so nice, I can't stop touching them! (Not to worry though, I'm still able to maintain my knitter's ADD).

Earlier in the week, I splurged and picked up some Colinette JitterBug in a colorway I think has got to be mislabelled. It claims to be 'Sahara' but it looks nothing at all like the photos of colorways I've seen on any number of sites. (I'll check again to see what-the-hell happened and let you know). While I really like the way Hill Country Yarn knits up, I have to say that the JitterBug is without question, the best sock yarn I've ever worked with in my entire life. Perhaps even longer. Like say, maybe a previous life. (Can't say for sure, since I believe that I was an amnesiac in all my previously lives). It hasn't fuzzed up at all, and it's so nicely plied, that even I haven't split the living daylights out of the yarn. When I quit fondling it, I'll take a picture and post it.

While I'm on the subject of fascinating projects 'whipped up' with yarn, I suggest you check out this link to a project from 'The Anticraft.' In particular, pay special attention to the dialogue between The Artiste and her mother, who wondered exactly what she was 'up to' so to speak, with her good sock yarn. 'Something to do with the Longhorns?!' Man, that's a good one...it just cracks me up!!

To close, the masses have requested that I re-post the URL for Miss Pearl's My Space page, so click on the hyperlink, and find yourself transformed to the mystical wonderland that is her virtual world...

Stay strange. I know I will.

Sanjaya Anthem

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