Oh.My.Goodness.

No, I'm not dead (yet)

I just blog as often as if I were. In the meantime, I have a few notes from the Land 'O Tornadoes that go like this:

This is not my house.

• Knitting and severe weather go together well, but only if you have a roof.
• The Mosquito festival continues!
• Dead manatees on your neighbor's lawn are a terrible way to start the day.
• I've really got to get-the-hell out of here, and I mean right damn now.
  
• Tom Becka's voice sets my teeth on edge--especially when he's trying to be helpful.
• Scott Vorhees seems kind of bitchy when he gets nervous.
  
• Shopping at the Bellevue Wal-Mart on a Friday night remains a freak show. (Checking out is even worse).
• Johnny Briceño is still hot.

That's all for now. More later. Stay tuned.

This Will Completely Blow Your Damn Mind.

Just when you thought it was okay to come out from under the table...

Eternally (Infernally) Useful.

Lovely, isn't it?

While I was in the family room chez funeraire, I saw a lovely wood casket waiting for its contents...It suddenly dawned on me that it'd make a great background to show off my second Clapotis, made from Koigu PPPM.

See? You can take it with you!

This would make a great surface for blocking.

This is the lid to a box that held a cremation container. After looking at it, I realize how useful it'd be for blocking a really long shawl. Regrettably, it's going to go back on the box for transport back to the crematory.

So much for recycling. Anyway, I dare Martha Stewart to come up with anything this clever, yet practical. So there.

Happy Hallowe'en, Y'all

...Why?

If this beast shows up at your door, just give it plenty of lettuce. Preferably romaine.

Thank you.

Excessive Knitting Content, including brief nudity, but no display of genitalia.

Mother as Pat Benatar

This was knitted after seeing the pattern by Mintyfresh on Ravelry.
I used Cotton Fleece, but it's designed as a way
to use up oddments of sock yarn
(and in my case, beads).
Please note, I have nothing to do with the faux-leopard print dress.

Mother Annoyed
with Kate, who is nude, without limbs or ears,
and resting on Mummy's shoulder.
Kind of makes her look like a light bulb, eh?

Posh Lucia Sock Yarn in the color 'Reassure.'
4-ply 70% merino, 30% cashmere, It's kind of stringy...
I don't think I like it.

I call this sock 'I Poop Corn.'
The name comes from this disgusting story that Ms. Violet's beloved,
'Sideshow Husband' told me.
I'd tell you myself, but I'm posting this too close to suppertime for all that.
(E-mail me for details).
The sock pattern, by Nancy Bush is from the Interweave Knits, Fall 2005 issue. It's cabled (and ribbed) for your pleasure. I'm using "Knit Picks Essential Tweed" in Inca Gold,
which is considerably softer than KP Essential without the Tweed.
I haven't washed it yet, so we'll see how it holds up.

After losing the strap somewhere in the abyss that is the kitchen,
I knit up another one using Lion Brand 'Incredible' Yarn.
This is done in seed stitch on size 6mm needles. Or 5.5mm.
I forget...

Dalida is the newest member of our family.
Although she's rather uh...'big boned,' she's actually still a baby.
Due to her coloring (she has a small swath of brown
on the left side behind her ear),
her street name is Lil' Skidz.
The good news is, she's only peed on me twice.
This too, has nothing to do with knitting,
but since I dearly love guinea pigs of all sizes,
here's a picture of a capybara relaxing at the Montreal Biodome.

I'll post more when I actually feel like it, and that may not be any time prior to mid-October. I'm supposed to attend a family reunion in Las Cruces, New Mexico of all places. When I return, I'll have lots of incriminating photos to post, no doubt. Following that, I hope to return to Montreal for the rest of the year, at least.

While I'm away, buy this book and knit everything in it.
It's fabulous. Seriously.

Okay, bye.

True Terror.

....Eeeeww.

For those of you who were wishing for a post, deal with this visual. Can you Name the Celebrity Bunion? Here's a hint: 'manky slag.' Here's another one--her husband makes his living using his feet. I feel bad for their offspring..for so many reasons.

Meanwhile, here are a few items of note that have transpired since my last missive--it got hot as all hell again, the humidity continues to rise, I still have a headache (although it's far less severe), and after two-and-a-half months of PMS, menopause has once again gone dormant. I'm still starting countless knitting projects, and finishing very few (but it's a part of the process, you understand). Omaha remains unbearable, but scandalizing the locals keeps my brain from atrophying further. Tragically, it takes so little to upset them, that I require further challenges than this godforsaken pit of agricultural hell offers. Mais le plus ça change...

The good news is I got on Ravelry, and the corn here is freaking HUGE, but the bad news is I'm seriously addicted, and it doesn't digest so good.

Apply those any way you like. Time for more Excedrin. Peace!

Another one from the "Oh Wow" Dept.

...uh, "no comment."