By request, Tommy Lee and the Big One(s).

Photos stolen from the Omaha Weird-Harold that were taken during Tommy Lee's visit to Dear Ol' Nebraska U. last autumn.It takes a very secure man to wield "Der Viener Schlinger"

...and while I was present at the game, I didn't get any of the wieners being schlung. We got our tickets from independent ticket brokers, an were located in Row 114 or someplace incredibly near the top of the stadium. For those of you who aren't familiar, Der Viener Schlinger is a fully-automatic, rapid-fire air gun that fires hot dogs from its uh...meat clip. (Only in Nebraska would someone actually have, yet alone develop, a meat clip).

Although there is so much for me to scorn in the state of Nebraska, I have to admit, Fairbury Brand Hot Dogs are exquisite. They're a lot like Hygrade wieners, in that they have this extra long-acting flavor-enhancer thing going on; that is, they tend to repeat on you for hours, if not days, afterward.

If you're suffering through the abomination that is "Tommy Lee Goes to College," then you know that he does in fact, make the drum line. I went to the game because it was homecoming--not because I was hoping to get a freebie off Tommy Lee. He's a tad too--deguelasse to me, but it's tough accounting for bad taste. Or even tastelessness. Like the rest of the 78-some odd thousand in attendance who weren't so blessed, I bought my lunch from the concession stands in the stadium.

What's more, the game was boring as hell--a complete blowout. Final score: Nebraska 59, Baylor 27.

Keeping the beat
(without the meat)