07 October 2005

The Bold & The Beautiful


These two photos are shots from actual convenience store/gas stations in the midwest. I post them here as proof for those in attendance at the last Montreal Knitting Thang, held last Wednesday evening. You'd think that with the high cost of fuel, the ownership behind 'Kum & Go' would harbor some concern that the name might encourage drive-offs. One thing is for sure--the idea for the name of this place is unabashedly male. (Conversely, 'Pump 'n Munch' seems to reflect more of a female sensibility...)


Speaking of which, we discussed which guy on TLC's 'While You Were Out' is hotter. I argued for Andrew Dan Jumbo (pictured left), while the majority preferred John Bruce (on the right). I'm not one of those people who is impressed by big, huge, massive, rippling ,enormous muscles (per se), however I think in reviewing the entire package, the evidence speaks for itself. Loud. Deafening, even.

Then again, I might have unusual tastes...I don't like rhubarb, fried liver, or tapioca pudding, either.

05 October 2005

Favor, please!


I urge you to kindly go to this site, and vote for Herbie Husker. The contest requires you to vote in each matchup listed, and since I couldn't care less about any of the others, pick whomever else you like--as long as you don't forget to vote for Herbie Husker.

(Normally I wouldn't advocate voting for a team so dull that their mascot of choice is some boring-ass WASP, but hell; it does seem to accurately represent the place...)


Yes, I realize he has a big, cheesy grin, but what they hell...just play along. And be sure you vote at least once daily until the contest's end. It'd help if you put the word out there, so your friends, enemies, e-mail buddies, co-workers, and relatives can help stuff the ballot box with us!

Thank you for your cooperation.

This result is a damn lie...

But I don't think the test has been written that acurately captures my complex nature (and my natural complexes). And the only thing woolly about me is my hair. Nevertheless...

You are Shetland Wool.
You are Shetland Wool.
You are a traditional sort who can sometimes be a
little on the harsh side. Though you look
delicate you are tough as nails and prone to
intricacies. Despite your acerbic ways you are
widely respected and even revered.


What kind of yarn are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

29 September 2005

A Rambling Update & Commentary on Gooberism

Ever order three hanks of luscious angora, then forget what-the-hell you planned to knit with it?

Lately, I've been even more absent-minded than usual (no, I didn't find my glasses), so it's par for the course, I guess. It is, however, bloody inconvenient. Whatever it is I end up making, hopefully will come out nicely. Maybe it'll come back to me in a dream. My dreams are a rich source of inspiration to me. Especially the ones where I can do gymnastics really well, and can flip and fly effortlessly. Those are very cool.

This weekend, I look forward to attending the Vermont Wool & Sheep Festival, which I pray, will be nothing like a 4-H exhibit. 4-H is um... interesting, but the goobers showing stuff tend to stare at my mother and me like we're the freaks. They're wrong. What's more, they're rude, as well. They have that slack-jawed gaze that suggests they don't get out much, and are easily stunned by the devistating beauty of a couple of Nubian Queens. I say to them, "don't hate--appreciate." Can you dig it...? I knew that you could.

But I digress. The group I'm attending with is Most Festive, so no doubt lots of fun will be had, early and often. I'll provide you with a review upon my return.

I hope the good men and women of the US Border Patrol (and Homeland Insecurity) will be gracious enough to allow me entry into America. They have been known to react in a similar manner as the 4-H gang.

If you don't hear from me after this post, please send yarn.

Merci.

25 September 2005

23 September 2005

Correct a misconception, then verify the truth.

Perhaps it's the PMS talking, but this shockwave vignette amused me greatly.

No matter where your hormones take you, this one is all about the truth.

You might say both are deeply penetrating in so many ways...

20 September 2005

Obligatory Knitting Content


This is another one of those funky little items I recently completed. It's a scarf, and although it's oozing with color, it's one piece. Somebody's getting it for Christmas, but I can't say who, exactly. I made it with a couple of balls of Noro Kureyon using size 6mm needles in mistake rib. It's inspired by the Rainbow Scarf in Joelle Hoverson's "Last Minute Knitted Gifts." Since I work slow as hell, I started early. It's listed in the chapter for shit you can make in two to four hours; it took me slightly more than a few weeks.

In addition, I was greatly influenced by Axelle de Sauveterre's Klee Scarf, but too broke to actually buy any of her delicious hand-painted yarn. (That, and I can't imagine giving anything made with it to anyone but Me, Myself & I).

Here's the real deal--I can't possibly work on one thing at a time. I pick it up, put it down, I start new stuff, I get distracted. I'm restless as hell, and have the attention span of a mosquito. Oddly enough, I can however, sit still longer than anyone I know. So get off my back already...

18 September 2005

When life SUX.


Did you know...

that the three-letter code for the airport in Sioux City, Iowa is SUX?

It's true. And if you think that's bad, just be happy you don't have to live there. (Because, in reality, it does).

Famous Sioux Citians Include: Pauline Esther Friedman Phillips (Dear Abby), Esther Pauline Friedman Lederer (aka Ann Landers), Fred Grandy (Gopher from "The Love Boat"), and Jerry Mathers (as The Beaver).

Both Gopher and The Beaver from one piddly-ass town? Sounds like they have a problem with vermin. Who knew?!

17 September 2005

The Good, The Bad & The Fugly

Case in point, the neighbor's Shitmobile.
I believe you can decide for yourselves as to the categories this monstrosity belongs. As you can see, it's parked on the street, and not in my space for a pleasant change. It sounds as bad as it looks--aside from a non-functioning trunk latch, missing gas cap, donut instead of a rear tire, and lots of other jacked-up mess on this thing, it lacks a proper exhaust system; i.e. a muffler. Not only is it offensive to the eyes, but to the ears, as well. In effect, it's a full-scale assault on the senses. Then again, the knuckleheads living upstairs have no sense--or so it seems.

Now that I've covered The Bad and The Fugly, I present to you, The Good. Exquisite, actually! It's a shot of the lovely Molly Ann modelling her creation, which is now complete. I adore this shawl--and the colors are magnificent. In addition, I'd like to give a shout-out to Ms. Véronik Avery, who was gracious enough to take the photo for me. (She's a photography whiz, as well as designer par excellence).
Moving right along, here's a photo of Kadi and Véronik with Kadi's version of Clapotis (or as Susan and Yours Truly think of it, that thing we love to hate, because we keep screwing it up). As of this posting, it's grown by leaps and bounds, and is deliciously soft to the touch. I forget which kind of yarn Kadi is using, but I'll look into it, and let you know later.

A little background, for those who aren't hip--Kadi hates having her picture taken, and usually hides her face. Véronik is stifling a laugh, which is something she does a lot while in my company. I've decided not to take it personally, but she does seem to enjoy messing with me a lot. Maybe it's a Gemini thing. I'm not sure. At any rate, it gives me that feeling of belonging, so hey, it's all good. (I'm just waiting for her to spike my chai, at our next knitting thing...)

That's all for now...late!

15 September 2005

Mmmm-mmm bad.


Today's Recipe can be found here.

(As discussed Wednesday, September 14, at the most recent Montreal Knits uh..."thing.")

Hell, at least it's not spam.

14 September 2005

Stupid Joke O' The Day

This is incredibly lame, but I heard it from a nine year-old...

And it goes like this:

There was this family of Moles in a Mole Hole, tunnelling through the earth, when the Mama Mole goes, [sniff-sniff-sniff] "Hey, I smell something good--it smells like pancakes!"

Then the Papa Mole (who is right behind her) goes, [sniff-sniff-sniff] "I smell bacon!"

Big Sister Mole (next in line) does something similar, like [sniff-sniff-sniff] and says "I smell sausage!"

And finally, Baby Mole, staying true to his birth order profile of being a total ham, plays it for cheap laughs, after the obligatory [sniff-sniff-sniff], then announces,

"I smell MO-lasses!"

(Get it?)


The End.

11 September 2005

I'm not really feeling The Smiths, but....

I'm supposedly this type of indie elitist.
smiths
C-86 post punk kid. You are completely aware that
the Smiths are the greatest band ever, and your
wardrobe probably consists of lots of different
Smiths t shirts that you alternate ever day,
because everyone must know how much you love
the Smiths.

What type of indie elitist are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

02 September 2005

By request, Tommy Lee and the Big One(s).

Photos stolen from the Omaha Weird-Harold that were taken during Tommy Lee's visit to Dear Ol' Nebraska U. last autumn.It takes a very secure man to wield "Der Viener Schlinger"

...and while I was present at the game, I didn't get any of the wieners being schlung. We got our tickets from independent ticket brokers, an were located in Row 114 or someplace incredibly near the top of the stadium. For those of you who aren't familiar, Der Viener Schlinger is a fully-automatic, rapid-fire air gun that fires hot dogs from its uh...meat clip. (Only in Nebraska would someone actually have, yet alone develop, a meat clip).

Although there is so much for me to scorn in the state of Nebraska, I have to admit, Fairbury Brand Hot Dogs are exquisite. They're a lot like Hygrade wieners, in that they have this extra long-acting flavor-enhancer thing going on; that is, they tend to repeat on you for hours, if not days, afterward.
If you're suffering through the abomination that is "Tommy Lee Goes to College," then you know that he does in fact, make the drum line. I went to the game because it was homecoming--not because I was hoping to get a freebie off Tommy Lee. He's a tad too--deguelasse to me, but it's tough accounting for bad taste. Or even tastelessness. Like the rest of the 78-some odd thousand in attendance who weren't so blessed, I bought my lunch from the concession stands in the stadium.

What's more, the game was boring as hell--a complete blowout. Final score: Nebraska 59, Baylor 27.


Keeping the beat
(without the meat)

This is sick.

I am Rabies. Grrrrrrrr!
Which Horrible Affliction are you?
A Rum and Monkey disease.

24 August 2005

How about a nice [complete] hysterectomy?

I provide for you this link, which contains bloody good commentary; much of which I can relate to. Especially now.

N.B.: You might not want to read it if you're eating. Then again, you might. But don't say you weren't warned.

My uterus hates me.

Normally I don't sweat that kind of thing, but this whole "Revenge of the Reproductive Organs" is really cramping my style. (Sorry--but not really).

It (along with my upstairs neighbors) jacked up my entire weekend by acting out, and ruining my plans. I apologize profusely for not attending the Montreal Knitting Thing on Sunday last, especially because I said I would. I awakened with a killer migraine on Sunday, and that basically put the kibosh on me doing anything besides eating 222s and keeping very still in a darkened room. The new neighbors upstairs invited four of their noisiest friends, and they spent 72 consecutive hours practising routines from Riverdance...

I hate them so much right now.

Once they were instructed not to park in the neighbor's parking space, they decided it'd be fun to park their hooptie in mine. (So what if my car is 3000 kilometers away?) I was feeling Extra Bitchy, given the PMS and migraine. Therefore, I told them to move the shit immediately, and Never, Ever, Do It Again. And for fuck's sake, stop with all the damn pounding on the floor!!!

That having been said, I'm currently enduring the joy of being a woman, and sincerely expect to be in attendance Sunday. I regret missing the opportunity to see Rolf in the flesh (might I add, his chest hair is nothing short of magnificent!), as well as the joy of watching their friend Thomas knit a sock. In public. Around a wad of females. He seems extremely comfortable with it in the photos, and that kind of thing is to be encouraged early and often.

If you wish to take a look for yourselves, follow this link...

21 August 2005

When good fellas make bad choices.


Anything that starts out with the words, "Former mobster-turned-chef" has got to be good. However, chef might be assuming far too much, in this regard; then again, I've never actually eaten there. God willing, I won't ever have to, either.

For reference, note the proximity to Brown Sheep Wool of Mitchell:

= Brown Sheep Wool (and white supremacists)



= Home of Henry's Ice & More


Yet another reason for me to steer absolutely clear of western Nebraska. (As if I needed any others...)

"Nebraska must be the most unexciting of all the states. Compared with it, Iowa is paradise."
--
Bill Bryson "The Lost Continent"

20 August 2005

How Brown Is My Sheep?

Panhandle-based Brown Sheep Co. produces yarns for high-end knitting shops.

Full Text: COPYRIGHT 2005 Omaha World-Herald
Byline: Chris Clayton

May 23--MITCHELL, Neb. -- Sometimes getting ahead of everyone else, even in a computerized world, means spending the morning on your hands and knees trying to figure out what's wrong.

The computer sensor wasn't reading the color marker, so the new-fangled Swiss labeling machine wasn't working.

"When it works, it can do the work of three people doing labels manually," said Robert Wells, vice president of Brown Sheep Co., south of Mitchell.

Beyond minor problems with new technology, Brown Sheep Co. is on a business high. The world might have iPods, BlackBerrys, cell phones with video games and plasma televisions, but one of humanity's earliest civilized skills knitting is trendy again. And any knitter worth her or his needles wants Brown Sheep yarn.

Yarns from the company mill are sold in about 2,000 high-end knitting shops nationwide, including a handful of stores in Omaha. At least 400 stores are on a waiting list.

With a wide array of yarn thickness, color and styles, Brown Sheep Co. is the largest producer of natural fiber yarns in the United States.

Brown Sheep Co. came to be just west of Scottsbluff because the family patriarch, Harlan Brown, who raised sheep for more than 30 years, grew tired of watching the ups and downs of the wool market. He decided 25 years ago to add value to the operation by manufacturing yarn.

The company now employs 40 full-time and six part-time workers.

About six years ago, Brown's daughter and son-in-law, Peggy Jo and Robert Wells, moved from Colorado to work in the mill after careers in the medical field.

Brown Sheep Co.'s focus on knitting yarns has provided steady growth in an era of continued decline for U.S.-produced textiles. As traditional textile mills in the Southeast close, sales growth for Brown Sheep over the past three years has exceeded 20 percent, company officials said.

And lately, Robert Wells said, "we've noticed the demand has been high year round."

In Omaha's Countryside Village, String of Purls got on the customer list about six months before the company stopped taking new shops. Robyn Hubbard, one of the store co-owners, said she and the other owners wanted to sell U.S.-produced yarn.

"A lot of people come in and ask if we have any local yarn and we tell them about Brown Sheep," Hubbard said.

Joe Wynn, manager of Personal Threads, 8025 West Dodge Road, said the store stocks a small amount of yarn from Brown Sheep Co. but has eight specialty orders waiting for customers. Personal Threads plans to expand into a bigger space, and Wynn said he hopes to stock more products from the Mitchell company.

Another shop, Touché at 6053 Maple St., has stocked most Brown Sheep colors and weights since the store opened in the Benson area three years ago, owner Glenda Stone said.

Although considered a high-end yarn, Brown Sheep Co. products are priced reasonably for all-natural fibers, she said.

"I wouldn't say they are high priced, no," Stone said. "You can definitely get higher prices from other companies."

Retail prices for 245 yards of thin, lightweight yarn can start at about $3.95, the same as for a Peruvian competitor product that offers less overall yarn. Much heavier yarn weights can run $20 or more.

Discount chains and craft shops may sell yarn at comparable and lower prices, Stone said, but they often have synthetic materials. The synthetics may make the product easier to wash, but take away from the "heirloom" nature of the homeknitted product and don't have the same texture, she said.

"There is a quality difference, and you can feel it," Stone said. "You can see it. If you are going to spend the time working on an heirloom sweater or other item, you also are going to take the time to hand wash it and care for it to preserve it as well."

Knitting is trendy again after a generation of downturn. According to the Craft Yarn Council of America, knitting has increased 150 percent over the past two years among young adults, though participation is up in almost all age groups with 1.4 million new knitters added last year.

"Knitting now is on an incredible increase," said Peggy Jo Wells. "The most exciting thing now about the new knitters is they are 35 and younger."

The knitting bug even has hit college campuses, where groups of students gather to knit.

"It's a return of the old quilting bee concept," she said. "It's a way to unwind and a way to deal with today's stress."

She also attributes the rise in knitting to the "hurry-up and wait" pace of society. Knitting can fill idle time, and it's easy for people to carry knitting bags, she said.

Brown Sheep Co., gets its wool from producers in mostly Western states, including Nebraska, Colorado and Wyoming. The company also imports from countries such as Chile.

Wool then is shipped to one of the few remaining mills in South Carolina, which cleans and prepares it before sending it back to Nebraska to be put on the spinners, dyed, packaged and shipped to customers.

The company stocks various yarns in blends using wool, mohair, cotton and silk. Yarn with a mohair component is particularly desirable, because it has a special texture that knitters like. Most mohair comes from goat ranches in Texas, which are declining in number, the Wellses said.

Brown Sheep Co. is banking on the growth of knitting to be more than just a short-term fad. The company has invested millions of dollars in new machinery, making it one of the few remaining U.S. textile companies to expand production.

Two of the biggest improvements were in drying and spinning capacity. The company's old drying machine dried 900 pounds of yarn over 24 hours. A new dryer handles 1,600 pounds in eight hours. New spinning machines, meanwhile, twine yarn twice as fast as older models.

Almost all the new equipment comes from overseas, including Turkey, Italy, Spain and Switzerland. Distributors and repairmen are often far away, which can be a problem when, for example, a new Swiss labeling machine isn't functioning.

Brown Sheep is the first company to use the machine for its retail yarn labels.

"Somebody had to be the first, and we were the ones," Robert Wells said.

The Mitchell company has captured its share of the new knitters but doesn't plan to change its marketing practices. Its products are sold exclusively by high-end knitting shops, not general craft stores or large discount chains.

"Our desire is to stay in the high-end yarn shops that provide the services with the yarn," Peggy Wells said.

Robert Wells said he has received e-mails from people in Germany who have used his yarn, but he doesn't know how they got it. The company, which has decided not to sell yarn on the Internet, will sell directly to customers in Great Britain and Australia.

"We don't want to undercut the shops," Robert Wells said. "There's pressure to do that sell directly but we don't want to do that."

Knitting Web sites promote Brown Sheep Co.'s mill and small adjoining retail shop as being worth the effort to veer off Interstate 80. The store can't keep in stock such products as hand-painted yarns with color flaws, called "seconds," that sell for $24 a pound, Peggy Wells said.

"We have built up quite a reputation for people coming to the mill. We have people come all the way from Omaha to shop here."

Last summer, Brown Sheep Co. froze its client list because increasing demand threatened to overwhelm the company.

"We won't take on any new account until we can service the accounts we have," Peggy Wells said.

Copyright (c) 2005, Omaha World-Herald, Neb.

16 August 2005

Unfinished Bidness.

This is to clear up a matter discussed at Sunday's Montreal Knitting Thang. Please pay particular attention to the paragraph detailing the Scottish "pervert who attempted to have sex with a frozen chicken..."

Next, I've posted a photo of my grandmother, grandfather, and family pooch, who looks suspiciously like Nadine's dog, as seen in her blog. (Although, my dog and grandparents are no longer on this earthly plane, I'm fairly certain that the two are not the same dog--note the date on the photo). They might, however distantly, be related. Then again, maybe not. Whatever.

Finally, my work continues on one of my eventual Dropped Stitch Shawls which I'm doing in Stacy Charles Ritratto, as per the pattern (for a change). I arranged it in a casual pose on the piano, because I'm tired using the floor as a backdrop. Check it:
As you can see, I have a long way to knit, but hey--no hurries, no worries. I'll finish it when I finish it. But now, I'll close with a photo that has been making the e-mail/dirty joke rounds for some time. For some strange reason, whenever I see it, I fall out in uncontrollable fits of laughter. Perhaps the reason is that I get off on a irreverent, tasteless humor that ridicules public figures whom I don't particularly like. This one fits those categories quite nicely, doesn't it?
Meanwhile, everybody stay real. I'll post more when the spirit moves me. Ciao.

11 August 2005

Neil Young is a Fucking Genius.

The more I listen, the more I hear. For real. He's so amazing. Can't sing on key to save his life, but hey--that's not really why I'm posting. The headline is mostly an attention getting device. Although, I do believe Neil is a Fucking Genius, (man).

First of all, I'm sick-to-fucking death of hearing about Terrell Owens and whatever he feels like doing to get more jack. I don't give a shit about the Eagles (Philadelphia, not the group), and furthermore, Donovan McNabb is kind of horse-faced, if you ask me. And frankly, I don't care if you do or not.

While I'm on a rant, can somebody please do something about all the crosswalk lights that have burnt out in this town? How am I supposed to know precisely when to jaywalk without them? That needs to be taken care of, pronto.

(There isn't really a point to this post, it's largely a reflection of the PMS from which I currently suffer.)

I think it's time for my meds. I gotta go now.

08 August 2005

Why did I attempt this while Mercury is in retrograde?

It's true--I should have known better. But I felt the need for a little sprucing up in a graphic way. As usually, my timing suck'd, so I've decided to return to the former 'generic' version of this blog until I can get the code straight enough to display my new, punchier banner.

Meanwhile, here are a few photos of some of my many, many, WIPs. I've decided if I can't get my eyes to focus, why should anything else about me follow suit?
Dig:
Big Ass Baby Blanket (made with huge needles)

Either a Capelet or Shawl (I haven't decided yet)

The Trinity Shawl (in hemp, naturally)

Cleo (from Knitty.com)

Drop-Stitch Shawl with Knit-PicksYarn (in Prairie)

Some kind of tank
made with 100% cotton yarn
graciously donated by Mona

06 August 2005

Don't You Hate It When...

You try to update your site, and in the meantime blow everthing else on there straight to hell? I know I do. If you're attempting to leave a comment, or look at something that is in the archives--but can't; please accept my apologies, because I inadvertantly jacked things up, earlier this week.

Hopefully things will work the way I want them to in the very near future.

Thank you, and holla!

03 August 2005

You might call it corny...


Over the weekend, I found out that one of the preeminent musical influences of my youth died. While he will be dearly missed, his broad smile and virtuosity will stay with me always. In his youth, he was invited to sit in with one Mr. Lawrence Welk, the Champagne Music Maker himself, and amazed everyone there so much, that he was offered a job with the band, right there and then. (He played a killer-version of "Lady of Spain" which forever changed the repertoire of bar-mitzvahs all over North America). There will never be another one like Myron Floren--but as a tribute, this guy in Minnesota made a portrait of him, entirely from corn. That's right--corn. Click on the photo to read more.

Adios, Myron...We Adore You.

30 July 2005

Strange but true...the beat goes on.


Mike the Headless Chicken
This is a highly inspirational story of a chicken that refused to die. It's also a story about a bunch of people living near Grand Junction, Colorado, with precious little to do in the springtime. To learn more, follow the link.

28 July 2005

So lovely (and amazing).


Just when you thought I'd given up posting anything at all about knitting, I offer to you this masterpiece, created by Molly Ann, member of Montreal Knits, and Knitter Extraordinaire. This was so fabulous, I had to take a picture of both the shawl and the yarn used to create it.

I harbor no illusions that I will be able to ever, in my lifetime, create anything this intricate. But for those of you who can, and do--the yarn is AHS Slub Kasuri, from Ami-Ami in Color No. A-35.

N.B.: For those of you wondering about the outcome of my visit to the opthamologst Monday, don't ask. The news was not what I wanted to hear. Or see. Even in a fuzzy sense. And believe me, it was extremely fuzzy. The long and short of it is, there's a occular CT scan in my future. And yet another medical professional has taken my Naturally Enormous Eyeballs as a sign of underlying thyroid disease. Wonderful. (Don't hate me because my gland is bigger than yours...)

13 July 2005

It seemed like a good idea at the time...


Another craft idea gone horribly wrong.

One day I'm channel surfing and I come across this craft show on cable, and this lady is demonstrating how to make a "memory box" for Alzheimer patients using one of those cardboard boxes, copies of old photos of loved ones, and attaching them by means of découpage...

I found that idea to be incredibly cheesy, no matter how severe one's dementia.

So I decided to combine cheesy with tacky, then add a pinch of vulgarity. The result? A toilet seat with découpaged photos of family members, which I planned to award to some unsuspecting relative at our next family reunion.

Word of my creation got out, and I got deluged with requests to "please-baby-please, make sure you put my picture on the lid and not the seat!!!"

The whole thing got incredibly complex, and I never actually got around to finishing The Familial Throne. ...Tender mercies, indeed. Anyway, there are, no doubt, any number of disturbing ideas bouncing about in my disturbed little mind, and hopefully, I'll keep procrastinating long enough not to get any of them started. (We can all hope, anyway).

That's all for now. Bye.

11 July 2005

Something useful (for a change).


Some people love the Ikea experience. Others of us love the Ikea experience, but compliment it with a mindless excusion through Dollarama. Here's a little secret: I'm one of those people. And I managed to create some very useful knitting markers with materials purchased at one of the junkiest retailers on earth. Most of the materials, anyway--the small-sized rings and little metal pieces actually came from some LYS and Zellers, yet another junky-assed store). The pliers and snipper thingy went for one dollar each, while I saw the identical items sold as a group at Hobby Lobby in the States for some insane price like $13 USD. Talk about profiteering--that's scandalous!!


My Instruments
The little metallic dealies attached to the rings are in actuality, wine glass charms. I didn't want you to think I'm some kind of lush because there seems to be this weird alcohol motif running through my tiny creations. The unexpected bonus comes from the bunch o' grapes design, as it sort of looks like the continent of Africa if you flip it over.
(Kind of...vaguely...'exactly' if you've been drinking hard).

Those who know me, know that I frequently knit with Enourmous Needles, because my vision sucks to fullest. I had problems finding yarn markers huge enough to fit, but found yet another solution courtesy of the Health & Beauty aisle at Dollarama. They came in a package of those tacky plastic bangle bracelets that the kids use to make themselves look even more slutty than they already do.

So please, don't say I never offered you any useful tips. M-Diddy would never lower herself to shop at Dollarama, Zellers, (or Ikea, for that matter), and therefore would never have come up with such a practical idea. I, on the other hand, couldn't care less. So, revel in my indifference, and embrace your inner cheapskate. And if you are hung-up that way, just lie if anyone asks where you got those magnificent place markers.

09 July 2005

Now, That's Gross (The Saga Continues)

If you're eating, you so don't want to see the other end of this link. It's extraordinarily horrible. At the last Montreal Knits gathering, we were discussing feet (don't ask), and how most people don't really like the look of their own. Either that, or their simply indifferent. This photo shows the atrocity that is Katie Holmes' feet copied from that bastion of reliable journalism, Star Magazine. (The following visual provides an example of footwear to be avoided):


"These boots are made for hobblin' "
My beloved grandmother died at age 90, after having been an insulin-dependent diabetic for 21 years--even her feet never looked that vile. You think Ms. Holmes could get a toe transplant or something? Those gnarled stumps are really beyond the pale. Then again, human nature being what it is, you know you want to look...so go ahead.

But don't say I didn't warn you.

08 July 2005

Who Knew? (Reprise of the sequel).


I've been doing a lot of shrugs this summer because I hate the look of my upper arms, and don't feel they're appropriate for public display. On the other hand, I don't love being a sweaty mess while out and about, so shrugs with camisoles make for a suitable compromise. This one is adapted from the Interweave Knits Staff Shrug project (the Minimalist Ribbon Shrug, in particular).

The stitch is one I know well, having used it to make inumerable dishcloths. It can be reproduced by casting on an odd number of stitches, then garter stitching three rows. The fourth row is made by beginning the row K1. Next, K2tog, YO, and repeat until the last two remaining stitches, which are K2. Then you start over agan with the three rows of garter stitch, etc. Extremely simple, and the holes allow for rapid completion. Gotta love it.



the obligatory close-up.

This model displays the actual Minimalist Ribbon Shrug, as intended by its creator, Susan Sternlieb. It was made with Berocco Lullaby in Rockabye Blue, which is surprisingly soft, light, and airy. While I'm not always big on varigated yarn, this color palette goes nicely with jeans.

As always, I'm still working on a number of other projects, but am entirely too lazy to fish them out, set them up, and photograph them. So this is all you get (for now).

...Okay, bye.

03 July 2005

If you're not part of the solution...

...then you're not much different from the rest of us.
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